A Maddening Woman
by CapoExecutor
Summary: Wilhelmina's somewhat timely reflection. Slight WilhelminaChigusa. The 1st summary didn't fit.


Note: I don't own Shakugan no Shana.

This is just something I had in my mind. Slight Wilhelmina/Chigusa.

This is just a work that deviates a bit from canon. ( continues at bottom )

III:::IIIIII

Wilhelmina's POV

What a maddening woman.

I leaned back on the couch, eyes closed as I refreshed my mind a bit after speaking to Chigusa before she went to sleep. The subject of discussion involved the future for Yuji and Shana, one in which I took part in conversation.

I can never seem to resist agreeing to her points in mere conversation. It's as if she can see the entire picture of an actual situation a lot more thoroughly than even me. Even though I've lived in this world a lot longer than she has, her wisdom seems to always overwhelm me into its submissive grip. Even Alastor admits giving in to her on a number of occasions, something that I've never even thought of could happen to the great Tenjo no Goka. Ever since I first met Chigusa Sakai, that fact was easily confirmed.

I thought she was the reason that the current Enpatsu… no, Shana has been limiting herself as a Flame Haze. Not just her, but that Mystes who carries the Reiji Maigo. Her only son, Yuji Sakai… I would sooner strangle him with my bare hands than let him…

No…

Probably I wouldn't since Shana loves him.

Now unless he somehow harms Shana's well-being that is…

Some nights, Shana would train him to use his special powers in controlling existence. The Mystes of the Reiji Maigo has quite the skill that continues to increase over time, despite the obstacles that were before him. I suppose I'll let him live for now. I can't keep myself from hating him forever, knowing that the bond between him and Shana has strengthened and assisted them in their battle against any Rinne and Tomogara that challenged them. Fighting to protect someone you love passionately and dearly can bring such an incredible power to your side and Shana's immense strength and power were testament to that realization. Alastor and I know too well that Shana had surpassed her predecessors as the current Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite, thanks to Yuji. So I'll let him live for now.

Within the Reiji Maigo, Tiamat sensed two other beings and warned me that there will be a day when both of them will be freed from the Hougu. The former Mystes of the Reiji Maigo named Johan, who Pheles of the Saihyou will be most happy to retrieve for herself. I would be glad to see that day come when those two unite. He was here all this time. That young man…

But the other is one that I know would mean trouble: Sairei no Hebi, the Tomogara with the Silver Flame. How did he end up trapped in the Hougu in the first place? I can only imagine what Pheles told me on how Johan fought the Silver and ended up sealing both the Tomogara and himself inside the Reiji Maigo. Margery, the Flame Haze with the Choshi no Yomite title, would jump at the chance of fighting the Silver if she knew that it was nearby.

Yuji, I can't help but feel somewhat sorry for you, even though you have my eternal spite. Still, the least I could do would be to intervene and do whatever I can for your life for the sake of your mother and Shana. It's not that you're worth anything to me personally anyway.

As I leaned out and gazed into the window that presented the night sky, I recalled my own days with Mathilde Saint-Omer, the late and previous "Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite." How long ago has it been when I would hear her speak to me over the things in her life and that of my own? Back then, before I even met Merihim, Mathilde always carried a good conversation in between our fighting against the Guze King Azis and his allies. Whether it would be a philosophical nature or some other subject worth speaking about, I never did tire of hearing Mathilde speak. Sometimes, even Pheles of the Saihyou surprised me with her bit of experience during my time with her while she was searching for Johan and the Reiji Maigo. Both of them were passionate in their cause of preserving the balance. But perhaps the one thing I could never understand was their self-restraint. Mathilde still clung to what she called "the moral obligation to humanity" while serving as the Flame Haze to Alastor. This was perhaps both her greatest strength in which she drew her passion from and perhaps the greatest weakness in which she limited herself in the fight.

"I will do what the Heavens would approve of. Regardless, I will not take the life of those who are undeserving of such a fate my hands can deliver." Mathilde once said when we assisted the Divine Echolocation and her Flame Haze against the Guze King Dago.

Even Pheles, a Tomogara in her own right, followed Mathilde's conviction, though I would have to credit her human lover Johan, the former Mystes of the Reiji Maigo, for influencing her that way. Because of Johan, Pheles became an ally in the same sense as the Spiral Organ.

Mathilde carried the duty of the Flame Haze proudly, but she always sought to avoid committing anything that she saw would cause unneeded destruction.

"Sacrifice the few for the greater good." I would say.

"Sacrificing the few for the greater good would mark our souls with their blood. We only kill those who are guilty of their sins." Mathilde would reply. "Never destroy the wolves when the flock is in the way."

"As long as we achieve the ends of preventing such chaos from our enemies, it is a small price to pay that I'm willing to go through." I would reply in kind.

"We may proclaim that the end justifies the means. But when accumulating a whole series of such times into one argument, you may find that you've only constructed and justified an entire philosophy of evil. Sacrificing unnecessarily… will we, as Flame Haze, have anything left to protect later on? What good is it to preserve the balance when there isn't anything left to protect?" Mathilde would finish the debate with such a strong moral conviction before I would find myself yielding and listening to her.

In those times, Mathilde's wisdom always won over my own thinking. After a while, I leaned on her both in and out of battle. Oh, Mathilde, even now, I still think of you after your passing.

I didn't speak much to Chigusa at first when Shana and I started living with her and Yuji. But amid her talks to both her son and Shana, I couldn't help but notice how, at times, she reminds me of Mathilde.

I won't deny that Chigusa is a better motherly figure to Shana than me. Every time I see Chigusa counsel Shana, I could feel my heart ache. It's not because of their relationship being that a mother and daughter would have. Deep down, I greatly respect Chigusa in giving Shana something that I would never be able to give. What it means to feel the true bliss of humanity, even in face of adversity. I'll have to credit Yuji for doing the same thing too.

This pain…

It hurts so much every time I see them together.

Why is it that my own mother never loved me in the way Chigusa loves Shana and Yuji?

Oh, I wish even now that I was in Shana's place. I was never loved by my own mother as she had abandoned me in the quiet town of Lourdes so long ago. My father looked after me, but didn't love me either. When he died, I had nothing and was forced to become a servant to a noble family. It wasn't long before I was pulled into the world of the Guze after being saved by the former Banjo no Shite from a Rinne that killed the family I served. It was from that point and later on that I became the Flame Haze to inherit the Banjo no Shite title.

And here I am, a heartless Flame Haze living with those who differ from me by that fact. All of them, optimistic in their futures and able to greet the light of the morning sky that awaited them.

Well, maybe not too heartless as I stood up and proceeded down the hallway for Chigusa's room. Perhaps I've been letting my pride get the best of me. She isn't bad at all as I entered into her room and found her asleep in bed.

"I'll gladly share the bed in case you get tired of sleeping on the couch." Chigusa once said to me.

I felt my heart skip a beat as I look at her. As I shed my outer dress off and left the inner gown I wore on, I felt a bit more relaxed before advancing towards the empty side of the futon that Chigusa lay on.

I slid into the futon next to Chigusa, wrapping my arms around her small frame and bringing her close to me. If becoming a better Flame Haze meant finding a true motivation of sorts in order to carry out the duty in maintaining the balance, then perhaps I might have found someone who could become the immortal image that I would cherish.

I wish Chigusa could treat me like a daughter but you can't always have everything in life. I felt Chigusa move a bit, closing the distance between me and herself. Strangely, I actually liked it.

As I slowly lost consciousness, I only had one last thought in mind.

Chigusa Sakai is truly a maddening woman…

… in a good way and I'll always love her for that.

IIIII::::IIIIIII

Tenjo no Goka: Conflagration on Heaven and Earth / Flame of Heaven

Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite: Slayer with Flaming Hair and Blazing Eyes

Sairei no Hebi: The Snake of the Festival / The Tomogara with the Silver Flame

Banjo no Shite: Manipulator of Ten Thousand Ribbons / Manipulator of Objects

Saihyou: Colorful Flutter (Hope the translation is right.)

Choshi no Yomite: Chanter of Elegies / Interpreter of Condolence

( from the top ) HA! Like I'm actually concerned of that. Hope you enjoyed this!


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